Thursday, February 24, 2011
The In-Laws
I work with a guy named Kevin. Kevin is a former sommelier and a certified "wine guy." His wife's mother and step-father were coming to visit over the holidays with another friend of theirs. They are simple Minnesotans with no interest in, knowledge of, or experience with fine wines. The in-laws (and the other guy) weren't just coming to town--they were coming to stay with him and his wife in their one-bedroom apartment. It's big enough for the two of them, but just the thought of this invasion was making him nervous. There was no talking them out of it. Did I mention they were driving? In a pickup truck?
Okay, so the well-meaning Mid-western hicks show up and they're in the apartment waiting for him when he comes home. How are you? Can I get you anything? The mother-in-law says, "Do you have any wine?" Kevin keeps only a modest collection of a few dozen hand-picked, much-better-than-average bottles at home in a wine refrigerator. The question is hanging in the air like a piñata. He can't open one of these bottles for these people...it wouldn't be right. He says, "Yes, I just left it in the car."
And with that he is off, running down stairs three-at-a-time, sprinting to the car, racing out the driveway to the nearby Ralph's supermarket, screeching into a parking spot. He gets to the wine selection and finds some $5.99 swill, Blackstone chardonnay and merlot, the cheapest crap they've got, and races home. His MIL thought it was "lovely," but all Kevin could think about was, "What if somebody saw me in there buying this plonk? What would I say?"
